Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Me. At least after what I've been through.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
