You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
