So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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