oh god the rape fog is back!
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
