Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
