Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
