remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
