You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
