Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
