he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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