You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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