do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Randomize