I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
