I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
