It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize