GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
