real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
