It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
