Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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