No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
