everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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