You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Drunk is not a location!
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
