May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
