addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
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