I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
zippers are such a cool invention
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
