Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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