Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
