Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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