how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
A+ Viking dick
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
