I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
How naked do you want me to be?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
