He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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