Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize