Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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