Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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