Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
