I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
