You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
