How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
