The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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