She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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