Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
