Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize