it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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