I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
