so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize