How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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