so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
