"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
