Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize