I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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