All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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