I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
