So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
found the other keg... it's in the tree
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
