Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize