i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
