it hurts more in the daytime
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I AM VODKA MAN
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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