she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize