First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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