As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
