don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
