Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
