Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
