I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
