I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
