Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
