Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
