And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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