Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
