Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
