I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
