I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize