yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize