Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
