so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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