Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
