Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
