I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize